I Love You.
Like, genuinely.
Showing posts tagged personal
Can’t be more true
Depression, Fear, Anger, Longing, Jealousy, Hate, Sadness, Hurt, Hope, Worry, Lonely, Very Lonely, Frustration, Lust, Dislike, Suffering, Sorrow, Insecurity, Isolation…
my life, if anyone cares ?
I haven’t written anything on my blog to do with me personally for ages, i think it is because i wanted to block all the sad shit and crap out of my life so not writing about it would help but recently , past couples days i’ve realised i really don’t like my life. Like my college course, 2 days a week, it’s not fun having 5 days off when you can’t get a job and get declined from places, it is not fun sitting in every single day thinking, sitting just doing nothing, i literally sit on my chair or bed and do nothing and it really gets to me, depresses me. like i have a social life but not really ? i talk to people on xbox ? that is pretty much all the socializing i do, yeah weekend just gone i went to a gig and went friends night after but this is very rare for me. and i think and i really am wasting my life, i don’t bother picking up my guitar as much anymore due to the fact i am never going to get anywhere with it, no one needs a guitarist whether for a metal band or a acoustic set to piss about in pubs with. so i feel i neglected it alot, especially my classical guitar… also this whole 5 days off 2 days college for a year to get the certificates, i found something today it is a 70 day city and guilds training, they give you cheap accommodation near the work place and you get given 70 days of official training and you get the qualifications and a possible job out of it, i know it means i will have to move away but i am really up for it, i am going to ring them tomorrow and see if they still need people. Because it will get my qualifications quicker and get me a new life. because this one sucks, im single, not working, live with parents, making no money, making no living at all, not much of a life or friend basis, don’t go out, can’t go out, feel like a loser so, need to kick myself in gear, so hopefully get this apprentice type thing, do the 70 day training wherever it is and get a job out of it hopefully. Just ignoring the shit facts of my life at this moment, i think if i did think about all the shit going on, it would drive into me to deep and wouldn’t be able to do much so THINK POSITIVE and keep happy steve.
i wanna will look like this. As soon as september hits, i won’t have a job, which means i can concentrate everything at my body. My diet, i will change to eating healthy stuff like, protein, good carbs etc, getting vitamins tablets and not drinking protein shakes, i wanna do my body into shape naturally. i will go to the gym 5 days a week, each day concentrate on different areas, the other 2 days, i will do cardio during the day and boxing during the evening (if i have enough money), every night i will do 100 press ups and 100 sit ups, every morning i will do the same. i need this :/ i have nothing to show for myself, and if i get bigger muscles and toned more, maybe it will make me look better to others, and i think it will make me feel good about me.
